Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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