Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
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I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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