Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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