I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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