I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
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I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
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A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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