I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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