butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She is in my trunk
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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