so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize