My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
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She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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