You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize