Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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