To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
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I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
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All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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