just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
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