my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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