The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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