I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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