i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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