her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
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I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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