She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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