i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize