the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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