So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize