it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
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I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
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I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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