she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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