Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize