I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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