Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All the doctor said was why
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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