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I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
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