I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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