Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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