Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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