Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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