he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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