I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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