so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry about my life...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize