You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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