he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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