he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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