So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
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Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think I just sharted jello shots
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