Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
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We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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