please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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