we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize