i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
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Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
so much tequila, so little girl.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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