DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize