Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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