stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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