I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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