I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize