We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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