I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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